Don't touch that candy, kid!

Kimberly Daniels, a preacher and guest writer for Pat Robertson's website, has declared that your child's Halloween candy might not be safe! In fact, according to Daniels, "most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."

This lady is certifiable. I wish my limited powers of ridicule could do justice to the idiocy of her column, but the job is too much for any mere mortal. Here is a link to the article at Charisma Magazine (Pat Robertson's website actually took it down!), and here is a link to a great critique from atheist examiner. I'll leave you with some of the more laughable quotes.

"The key word in discussing Halloween is "dedicated." It is dedicated to darkness and is an accursed season. During Halloween, time-released curses are always loosed. A time-released curse is a period that has been set aside to release demonic activity and to ensnare souls in great measure."

"I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."

"Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats. It is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon."

"The word "occult" means "secret." The danger of Halloween is not in the scary things we see but in the secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes. These activities include:

* Sex with demons
* Orgies between animals and humans
* Animal and human sacrifices
* Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
* Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
* Revel nights
* Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
* Release of "time-released" curses against the innocent and the ignorant."

I just want to know what kind of Halloween parties this lady has been going to, and how I can get invited!